The University Of Labradoria

Degrees Offered

This academic year, the following degrees will be available from the University of Labradoria, the world's first cyberversity for dogs. The University welcomes suggestions for additional degrees that might be offered in year 2001. Our aim is to provide the qualifications that modern dogs and their owners see as necessary for successful living.

Bachelor of home comforts

This is a degree for dogs with a demonstrated documented ability to make themselves comfortable under all circumstances. Dogs that have learned to sleep on family beds, occupy lounge chairs, sprawl across their person's feet, take up a central position in front of the fire, roll over and over on the lawn and in flower beds, scratch themselves against the kitchen table are all well-qualified for this basic degree. The University recognises that Labradors have a distinct advantage over other breeds in working towards this degree because, as everyone knows, a Labrador's home is under its hat. However we urge owners of all breeds to submit for this degree, on behalf of their dog and earn a foundation qualification for surviving in an increasingly competitive world. We have records of many potential dog owners who would not even consider being acquired by a dog without a B.Home Comf.. Under globalisation, this competition could even extend to foreign dogs, although fortunately quarantine laws make it somewhat harder for foreign dogs to compete on the domestic companion animal market. The formal requirement for a B.Home Comf. degree is a one hundred word thesis (about three paragraphs) describing how your dog qualifies for this honour.

Master of Games

This is a degree for dogs that love playing games and are good at them. Skills that should make a dog owner think of submitting a two hundred word thesis for an M.Games degree include ball-catching, stick chasing and, particularly stick retrieving. Dogs that give up the ball immediately so that the ball thrower gets exhausted and sick of the game in just a few minutes can be almost assured of qualifying for this degree. If your dog barks excitedly all the time the game is being played and annoys the neighbours that is another skill which the examiners will reward (even a summa cum laude perhaps?)

Doctor of Dish Licking

The prestigious D.D.L. degree, requiring a 500 word thesis, is a must for dogs that are really greedy. Once again, Labradors have a genetic advantage but owners of other sorts of greedy dogs are urged to apply. Dogs that will eat all sorts of strange foods like curry and raw spinach and vegetable peelings have D.D.L. potential. Even a dog that is not disgustingly greedy can qualify for a D.D.L provided that they really clean up that food bowl every meal. We warn applicants for a D.D.L. degree that there is a high failure rate on this one. The examination committee must be really convinced that yours is a dog with an all-consuming, ever-present interest in things edible. Some dogs which eat inedible things and then sick them up have been known to get a D.D.L but we caution candidates that this highly unusual.

Further information is available on request about a series of degrees that are curently under development at ULab. These include degrees in :-

Home destruction---a degree for dogs that have the ability to give house or garden the appearance of a battle zone.

Master of Retrieving---this is a degree for dogs who love bringing things back, even if they won't give them up when they get to you. One dog, Ben's friend Kimmy, has already been awarded a M.Ret degree. Kimmy's thesis is on display at the University's successful theses page

To see examples of the work of sucessful candidates for University of Labradoria degrees visit our successful theses page

click to enlarge english degree certificate click to enlarge latin degree certificate


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